Our Divine Connection

We all inherently have a Divine connection and access to inner guidance. Sure, we were conceived in a physiological process but that’s only a part of the story. We exist as part of a field of all possibilities, the Divine Matrix of consciousness; the Organizing Power, that oversees and partakes in the creation of planets, stars, solar systems, and universes.

Over the last millennia, this Organizing Power has had many names: God, Universe, Spirit, Energy. We’ve wanted to be so politically correct and take an ownership of that one name that we’ve forgotten about Its qualities. We’ve forgotten that, as fingers are an extension of a hand, and rays are an extension of sunlight, so are we an extension of this Power.

How did we develop Existential Amnesia?

So how did we forget? All too easily it seems. While growing up, our parents or caretakers domesticated us with societal rules and we largely became a product of that system. They were told what is good or bad, right or wrong, what it means to succeed, what to be happy about and what not to be happy about, and simply passed this on to us. And sure enough, they loved us so much that they were determined to pass these rules on, believing they were doing us a favor. And we surely love them for it.

We entered into this societal dream with its preconceived set of rules and beliefs. It is a dream, because all those rules and beliefs are illusions, fabricated by our predecessors. We were conditioned to be the identity we’ve been assigned to by society. Sure, we would like to believe that we are free to choose our own path. Many say: “This is me. This is my choice. I am free to do whatever I want.” But, with all that conditioning, is this really true?

We learned to get an education, get a job to make money. The more stable the job, the more security we thought we’d have. Then marriage, kids, hobbies along the way, saving money for a “rainy day,” retirement and…? Exactly! Then what?

Reality or Illusion

If it was all that simple we would have a pretty happy society bumping along, people with smiles on their faces, thinking how ridiculous the idea of attending some kind of self-development course or workshop is. After all, we have everything figured out, and life is a dream in which we play the part of a happy camper.

But reality shows a bit different face. So many of us have become masters of excuses, pretending or plain covering up the fact that there are major discrepancies between the pictures we’ve painted versus real life. Most of us still live quite happily through our 20’s and maybe 30’s discovering new things, thinking that it will all get better, that if we develop more skills, get a better job, get married to the love of our life, and save some money, we will discover happiness and joy, the fountain of an “eternal life.” But in most cases, right around our 40’s when we think life should be an ultimate bliss these “foundations” get shaken. We realize that no money, people or conditions can really make us happy. After all, we are married to a great spouse, have a couple of amazing children and a job that is not all that bad. But something is missing. “What is missing in my life” we ask?

Complex Simplicity – So what is missing in our lives?

We start searching for answers. We get a bigger house, second car, we go on a trip around the world, we help some people along the way, feed the hungry because after all we want to give back to society. We shake the boat with our marriage, because what if we made a wrong choice after all?

And the search continues. A few years pass or maybe just a few months for some, and we look at our life with an excitement, trying to capture our progress in correcting a few things that could have been responsible for our previous frustrations. We look and look and freeze in disbelief. We shake our heads and look again; just to realize that not much has changed. Yes, we are in a different place but something is still missing. By now we are certain that there is definitively something wrong with us and that without professional help we won’t figure it out. So we hire a life coach, therapist or councilor to find what is missing for us.

And the search continues. We spend weeks, months or even years in therapy and discover many things we were not previously aware of, we face some uncomfortable truths, change a few beliefs, and now we are excited about our new life ahead. And with as much determination as we can squeeze out of ourselves, we enter our promising future. And again we change a job for a more satisfying one, change friends to those who contribute to our life, decide to get a divorce to finally be on our own to figure things out. We buy a dog; spend more time with the kids. Life of bliss at last!

Inner Guidance – A Conversation with the Higher Self

Until… one day we hear some knocking. We look around to see where it is coming from but assume we just imagined it. “Knock, knock” we hear again, now much louder. With a little fright we get up and open all the doors to see who is so eager to get in. Much to our surprise nobody is behind any door. The knocking continues however, and with a bit of frustration we start to listen more attentively to where the heck it might be coming from. Suddenly, to our disbelief we realize that the knocking is coming from inside of us.

Knock knock.

Who is there?

It is your Spirit inside, silly!

Who?

Your True Self…The Eternal, Universal Force which is always with you.

What do you mean always? I’ve been here for quite some time and I know for a fact nobody has been with me.

He he he…the little voice giggles. I was knocking all your life but you were always looking on the outside for something you couldn’t find. You couldn’t find it because I’ve always been here, deep inside your heart, waiting…

Oh, so what do I do now that I’ve found you?

Hmmm…good question. Let’s just say you DO nothing. Just listen.

Listen to what exactly??!!

Listen to this voice and you will be just fine.

That’s it??!!! Is it the thing I was looking for my whole life??!! This little voice??!!Come on, this must be some sort of a joke! And how do I know you are for real, anyway?

Ok, I get your frustration a bit so let’s try this. Do you remember when I told you to put your roof up while driving your convertible2 years ago and you didn’t listen?

Yes, I do remember. Very clearly!

That’s what I am talking about. And surely enough there were 2 bandits trying to rob you and you were terrified. And I said: “Scream at the top of your lungs,” remember?

Yes I do! And I did and they ran away without taking anything. I remember I had much cash on me after leaving the bank that day. Wow…

And do you remember when your 4 year old son disappeared and you couldn’t find him? And you wanted to look for him on the street?

Yes I do! I do! I heard some voice inside me yelling to immediately check the backyard. I ran as fast as I could and grabbed my son just inches away from the pool. Oh my gosh! I do remember the sound of your voice now. I think it’s a bit familiar.

So now you know that I am real and that I was with you all your life, even when you were 7 and I told you to run home quickly from that man in a black jacket.

So it was you! It was always you! So what do I do now? I am struggling a little. Ok, a lot. Nothing seems to make sense anymore. Things that I thought were important seem trivial. I don’t feel particularly good about my life. I feel like I am missing something regardless of what I have or do. I am confused most of the time, and not sure where to go from here. The time seems to go fast and I feel I won’t be able to do all the things I want to do. I really feel like a mess.

Well, you don’t look it for sure. You learned how to cover it all up well. Everyone seems to think of you as a superhuman with everything quite nicely put together.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How could I tell anyone? Nobody would even believe me. I remember when I wanted to quit my job as a VP and everyone thought I was crazy. But I really wanted to write books. Hmmm…I still do. And I stayed and here I am.

I know, I know. You are a little drama queen, feeling sorry for yourself. You always have been in the moments of “defeat,” as you call it. Ok, so what really stopped you?

I did what I thought I was supposed to do for my family…

You’re avoiding the question. Think. What stopped you?

If I really think about it, it was fear. Fear that I wouldn’t succeed in societal standards, fear of not being good enough, fear of disappointing my parents, fear that my kids will grow up in conditions I grew up in, fear of losing powerful friends. Fear. Just fear! After all that’s what I was taught, to complete my education, to “be someone,” and get a well-paying job and fight for promotions. Higher and higher. More and more. I think I can count on my fingers the times I was truly happy. One time, I remember, when the kids were young, we took them for a week vacation to this little town the name of which I already forgot. But I remember… it was a little cottage house with a huge porch, nothing spectacular. It wasn’t our usual high class accommodation because my friend who was booking it for us made a mistake. But the house was cute and right on the beach…the weather was just magnificent and we were surrounded by evergreen trees. I still remember that heavenly smell. We spent most of the time on the beach, swimming, playing games, looking for animals and cooking simple meals together. We were so happy and in the moment, we completely forgot to take pictures. I wish I had a few to see now.

You do have those pictures, but much more permanently. They are right in your heart.

Ok, ok. I know you are pretty accurate with your observations, he he he.

Thank you, I feel flattered. But back to you. Everyone who is born receives a unique gift to share with the world. These gifts are equally dispersed among all humans and amount to the Universal Wholeness. This means that all the gifts put together are representative of that Organizing Power which creates all that is. Can you guess what yours is?

I’ve been searching and searching and I don’t think I’ve come up with anything. There are many things I am good at but nothing unique comes to mind.

You humans and your thinking. It always gets in your way. So let me help you a bit then. Do you remember when you were little, what others were saying about you?

Yes. That I was pretty special. That there was something about me that made others around feel better. What’s your point?

And do you remember what you did after your car crashed and you were pretty disabled both physically and emotionally?

Well, I studied healing because my well being was so important to me and I used all possible techniques to heal myself.

And…?

And I did.

And what happened when your mother didn’t feel well?

I helped her heal and she got better fast.

And what about your dog which is now how old? 15?

I worked on him too. After he got hit by a car, and after being with me in the car crash, and many other times. Truth is he never went to the doctor and he is doing very well. I always call him a miracle dog.

And do you remember all the others you worked on? What happened to them?

Of course I remember. They all got better one way or another. Oh my gosh! We are on to something! So what are you trying to tell me? That I am a healer? It can’t be! What would I do with it anyway? I am a businesswoman, not some sort of a shaman.

Very interesting. So back to your point about not being fully happy. Let me play the “if” game here for a moment. What if you are not obeying the voice within, following your own unique path, and sharing your gift with the world? Do you really think that this Omniscient, Organizing Power would allow anyone to run away with the gift and bury it in some hole under the tree?

I don’t know.

Think harder.

I guess not. But what if we don’t want the gift we were given? What if I don’t want to be some healer? Everyone would just laugh in my face. And what about money? We have to live and support ourselves and our families. I don’t get it.

So you think the all powerful Source of all there is, is playing a game with humans giving them things they cannot handle just to make sure they will die of starvation, just because of that gift? How interesting. Is it really what humans think of All Powerful Source?

You can laugh all you want but I don’t think it’s all that funny. And what is your name anyway?

My name is Conan.

No way! It can’t be! Like this Conan the barbarian? I watched the movie the other day. It just sounds so…never mind. I thought you are Michael or Gabriel to say the least. But Conan?!

The name doesn’t matter. I made it up for you because you humans love all those labels. I saw you watching that movie so I thought it would be fun.

Look at your sense of humor, Highness Conan. Let’s go back to this gift business. So are you trying to say that absolutely everybody has that special gift? Like everybody? What about people whose lives are pretty challenging? They would probably laugh hearing this.

Yes. The answer is yes. Everybody has a gift and those like me are here to make sure they use it. We will remind you over and over until you guys get it. And true enough, sometimes we have to use some drastic measures, but only because you don’t listen. And those who you say have challenging lives are on their way to find their own gifts. We are always assisting. Sometimes you just need to ask for help.

So my gift supposed to be healing. Is it what you are trying to say?

Not only that, but also intuition and perception. Wouldn’t you agree? Do you remember being able to predict things in your life, getting warnings about certain people, making choices based on how you felt even if your reasoning mind didn’t cooperate?

Well, I do remember but I thought it is pretty normal and that everybody works the same way.

Not so. There are some people who have that gift and many others don’t. They just have different ones.

So what do I do now? I feel pretty confused.

You can’t know it. You can only feel it. Practice not knowing. Practice until you become a master. Practice makes a master. Stay present at all times, meditate, listen, be you. Feel the power that is inherent within you. Ask. It will show you the way. And trust…..

Trust…?

…Hello, why are you so quiet? Hello! Where are you? I can’t hear you. Come back! I have more questions. Hello!?!

What did he say? Stay in silence? Listen? Not know? Trust? But those are the toughest things to do! Hold on. He said earlier not to DO anything. So if I don’t do anything then what am I doing? Oh crap. The doing again. I guess I just BE. But how am I doing that being? Oh no! I am getting confused. But he also said practice not knowing. That’s where I will start….